The Posted Life

I envy women who can wake up in the morning and look flawless. They're whole existence is #IWokeUpLikeDis.

Me? I look like a mix between a drunk raccoon from my leftover makeup and a beached whale - unable to move at a fast pace and likely to roll out of bed onto the floor. My hair is usually matted to my face or all over Ben's pillow - there is no in between.

I also envy women who can pull off cute ripped jeans and booties. My cankles only allow for certain types of booties and I can squeeze into ripped jeans when my thunder thighs feel like it.

So, kudos to you if you are a beautiful, healthy, herbal-essence-hair-commercial woman with a fast metabolism. WOOHOO for natural beauty!

Social media, TV, internet, magazines, books, etc. have taught us for years that no matter what we look like, we are still not good enough. It's been subtly said time and time again. People share beautiful photos on Instagram, capturing a reality we could only dream of. Facebook live videos where people are in some foreign country, sky diving over the Swiss Alps. Snapchat documenting wild parties and crazy fun nights with friends. Twitter re-living it all and giving us a play-by-play of their awesome lives. We see snapshots of their reality and immediately feel depressed.

Why not me?

"If only I was this size, then he would like me..."

"If only I wasn't so annoying..."

"If only I had the money..."

"If only I wasn't so scared..."

"If only I was one of the cool girls that guys liked..."

"If only I was taller, smarter, more athletic..."

The constant comparing is exhausting.

I will be honest and say that it is 9:58am and I have already compared myself to three women today. "Wow, I wish I had her hair..." "Wow, I wish I could look that good in jeans..." "Wow, I wish I had money for her wardrobe."

Yup. And that's just today.

The truth is, the people who make every day look like a fairy tale are usually the ones struggling. They wish for everyone to only see the positive sides of their lives. They don't want the dirty, they don't want the messy, and they for sure don't want the raw or the real.

These people live their life through a lens. A filtered lens. A fake lens.

Famous people have a bad hair day and hire a professional to fix it.

Models post photos of themselves with full make-up and expensive clothing - that's their job.

Actresses get butt and lip injections in order to become "happier" with themselves, or so they say. But if society didn't think big butts and lips were essential to being a woman, would they do it at all?

We as a human race are brainwashed to believe that this is all normal. Go to any "Snapchat story" by Cosmo or Daily Mail. More than half of the "stories" are women walking on the beach in bikinis. Not only does this make women start comparing themselves (again) but it makes men lust over someone like they are a "thing". A photo transforms a person into a "thing". A thing to be scrutinized, ridiculed, picked at for every flaw. It's also a thing that can be used for pleasure, without the person's knowledge or consent.

This is normal?

A girl walking on a beach in a bikini might be normal. A "story" about it, is not.

There are many things that I do personally to make myself feel better about myself. I'll work out, I'll meal plan, go for long walks, call up an old friend, go to mass, watch movies with Ben, etc.

After a great work out, I'll sit down on my phone and scroll through Instagram. Oops, more perfect women with perfect bodies. Ugh.

After I meal plan, I'll find myself later on looking at better meals made by another person. DANG.

After I go to mass, I'll see Ben praying in the corner, saying a rosary or doing a morning prayer. I'M NOT HOLY ENOUGH!!!!!!! < me.

In an interesting article in Cosmo (one that I would have never known about because their magazine is trash) a friend told me that it said most women who post on Instagram or who are "Instagram Models" only post the pretty, filtered photos, but are so filled with anxiety that they often times have break downs. Their lives are NOT picture perfect and putting on that facade can get to a person. Why do you think so many celebrities end up in rehab or in institutions?

This so-called reality is not normal. Period.

We were made for more than this.

But do WE, the peasants of society post the bad? Do we proclaim the nasty parts of our little lives? Do we boast about how we are in major debt or had an anxiety attack the other night or had a fight with our spouse that went on for hours? Probably not.

We post photos of our cute dogs frolicking through a flowery wonderland. We post pictures of us kissing our spouse like we've never fought. We post photos of ourselves out drinking with friends and smiling, even though on the inside we are fuming that we just spend $9 on the drink we're proudly holding.

The fake lens we see through isn't always fake. We post the good parts of our lives because they are GOOD. Good things happen, and we can be happy. Nothing wrong with that.

The "fake" part is the lie that this is our only life. The posted one.

When will we stop posting and start living? - I think as I type this blog which I'm about to post. Oops.

<3 Tay

#worthy #Blog #Faith #mentalillness #married #medstudent #depression #blog #wife #socialmedia #instagram #snapchat