Laziness & Loneliness

Picture this. You're in bed, the sun shining through the window just slightly. Your body is warm, but the air circulating around the room makes for a crisp awakening. You could not be more cozy if you tried.

It's Friday morning, so you have one more work day before the weekend. YAS!

The door opens. Your hot, shirtless hubby is bringing you steaming hot oatmeal full of peanut butter and fruit. Your favorite.

He also has a mug of blueberry coffee and cream that he sets down next to you. He kisses your forehead.

This was not a dream. This was my REAL LIFE for basically the whole summer.

Also, I realize I make Ben look like an angel in this blog. Let me remind you that he is not. He leaves a hurricane of clothing wherever he goes. Shirts, jackets, shoes, you name it. He walks through the door and it's like a tornado of outerwear spirals through the house.

He also is a know it all, so there is a way to do everything the correct way. I never do anything the correct way.

Ben also likes to make plans and "forget" to tell me about them. That was fun whenever he planned to go to Kentucky for a week and "forgot" to let me know.

Anyway, this summer was full of admiration for my not-so-perfect-hubby. He was on summer break, so he made sure to help me with things around the house while I worked. He cooked, meal-prepped, cleaned, took Benny on long walks, handled the bills and the mail, did laundry, you name it. He did it. And it was great.

Last week, I worked at a county fair most of my days. The fair was an hour away, and they were long shifts, so Ben and I didn't see much of each other. His first day of his second year was the day the fair started, so I thought nothing of it.

Cool, school's starting! Ben won't be dying to do things with me the moment I get home every day! - was my initial thought.

That was until I was getting ready to go home after the fair on day 1.

WAIT. Ben's not home to take Benny out. He's gonna pee everywhere. GASP. Food. Did I go grocery shopping? I forget how to do that?! What was our budget again? Does this mean I have to cook my own breakfast again?? Whose gonna vacuum the apartment? Whose gonna do the dishes?? - was my secondary thought.

On my ride home, I realized how much Ben had done for me while he was home. He was completely bored out of his mind, but he could have lounged around and watched TV all summer. He was the husband I needed and the friend I loved to be around 24/7.

Full of panic, I picked up where I left off when I got home. I started dinner. I took Benny for a walk. I did laundry. I did dishes. I did everything I used to do while he was in school. And I was FINE! Who knew I could adult again??! Cus I sure didn't.

I want to publicly thank Ben for being so supportive this summer and helping me through some really tough weeks at work. Without him, I don't think I would have gotten out of bed every morning. He reminded me to "start everyday with a victory, and that begins with not hitting the snooze button."

This week, the loneliness has set in. Things have calmed down at work so I'm not as busy. I volunteered to lead a small group at my new parish, but that's once a week. Ben is tutoring some nights, OMM on other nights, and studies late on nights after that. I had to push the panic away already, and it's only the second week of school!

I'm reminded of why I chose to be on this journey with him. Even with all of the sacrifices we both have to make, marriage is 100/100 all of the time. It's such a great reminder of all of the sacrifices Jesus had to make so that we could live a blessed life.

And so begins another school year. I wouldn't trade any of my feelings for the world because I am SO incredibly proud of the hard working man I married.

He also still makes my breakfast in the morning :) PS - I am a strong independent woman and YES I can make my own damn breakfast. But it's nice to have someone who likes to do it for me :)

(And ya'll need to get some blueberry coffee it is off the CHAIN - thanks Mama G)

-Tay