Guest Post: My First Year - A Reflection
After some persistent asking, my hubby decided to sit down and finally write out a reflection on his first year in medical school. I really enjoyed reading it, and I hope you do, too :)
Hey everybody,
Taylor asked me to write a reflection of my first year of medical school for her blog. Now this may seem like a simple task for Taylor, but for someone with an analytical/science orientated brain, it is actually pretty challenging for me. That’s just one of the ways that we are different. She can easily write and write about anything that comes to her mind. However, unless I have specific instructions or questions to write about, it’s a hell of a struggle. Without further ado, here we go.
It is crazy to think that in August I’ll be starting my second year of medical school. Last year at this time, I was somewhat freaking out. I had just started an entirely new chapter in my life. I graduated undergrad, got married, moved into an apartment, and started med school all in a matter of about a month. It was a little crazy but definitely worth it. The hardest part that I had with med school was the change of pace and amount of material covered. In undergrad, my professors would always tell me that med school is like trying to drink from a fire hose. I remember talking with a doctor that I worked with in undergrad, and I was complaining about how fast I thought my Biochem professor was going. He just sat back and laughed and tried to tell me how much faster it gets in med school. Unfortunately, this was one of those things that you don’t really understand until you go through it.
That first few weeks of the first block hit me hard, and it was taking its toll on me. I started to doubt myself (crazy I know because my sisters always tell me about how big of a head I have). I thought admissions made a mistake and I was going to fail out. Every afternoon was filled with frustration once that stress headache came on. I didn’t know what to do.
Taylor knew what to do; she was my rock. She talked me down and reassured me. She reminded me of all the different things that I was able to overcome when I thought I wouldn’t be able to. She gave me that self-confidence once again, and I got back to work. I got some tips for nutrition and had my studying techniques reassured, and everything else fell into play. Thank God for Taylor being there for me. It’s really funny because I never wanted to be married in med school. When I started undergrad, I knew that I wanted to get into med school, and it would be a lot of work. So, I told myself that I wouldn’t date in undergrad because a girlfriend would be too distracting.
Within two months, Taylor and I were Facebook Official. I didn’t realize that Taylor would actually help me in this journey. One thing besides writing that she does really well is loving, genuinely loving. She truly wanted what is best for me. She knew how bad I wanted to become a doctor. Yes, she was frustrated that it entailed only seeing each other sometimes for 15 minutes a day. Yes, she understood that some of our weekend dates were trips to Panera where I would study before we’d go see a movie. She understood that this wouldn’t be an easy journey, but she knew it would be worth it. (Personally, part of me believes it’s because I told her I’d pay off her student loans and buy her a blue Jeep, but that’s still up for debate.) I don’t know if I would have gotten through my first year of med school without Tay because she was always my shoulder to fall back on at the end of a long stressful day. Whenever I needed a pick me up, she was there for me. (Thanks Tay!)
So back to the school side of things because I think that is more of what Taylor had in mind. It did take a little bit of time getting used to. Before what we’d cover in a semester of undergrad, we could easily cover that in a little over a week or two of med school. However, once you get used to playing at that pace, it just becomes the new normal. Growing up I played football since I was in 5th grade. Every time I made the jump from pee-wee, to middle school, to JV, and then to varsity in high school, it went the same way. You go in there and you’re overwhelmed, you get beat up and bloodied, but the key is to always get back up. You can’t stop or give in. You must keep pushing forward, or as one of my high school coaches would say, just shake it off and take a step up (shout out to Coach Zontini for telling us this story http://www.agiftofinspiration.com.au/stories/persistence/shake.shtml.
Regardless, you just need to keep working until what you thought was too hard to overcome becomes the new normal. The pace that I thought was too hard became the new pace, and I got used to it.
Looking back over the past year, I cannot believe the amount of information that I have covered and learned. I didn’t know squat. Now, I know a little bit more than squat, and I’m going to have to continue learning my entire life because the more you know, the more you realize how much you don’t know, especially when it comes to medicine. That is why when you’re a doctor it’s called “practicing medicine,” because you’re always trying to get better.
-Ben
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