Date Night!

Dating Ben in undergrad was not easy.

Bio majors were known to have virtually no social life. As a communications major, I had an almost overwhelming amount of time for a social life (until the end of each semester when all my projects were due at once.)

Junior year was the hardest because he was preparing for the MCAT. It's the test you take that basically tells med schools how smart you are. It's VERY important. He studied for about 6 months, leaving basically no time for date nights or quality time.

I'm going to rewind a little bit and talk about love languages. There are 5:

- Quality Time

- Physical Touch

- Acts of Service

- Words of Affirmation

- Receiving Gifts

Don't know what yours is? Find out!

Mine are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. I love being told how much I'm loved. I love being told that people say good/nice things about me. I'm energized when I know people appreciate me.

I also love to spend quality and one-on-one time with my husband. This was not a love language that was easily fulfilled in college. He would try very hard to make time for me, but getting into med school was at the top of his list. I had to be okay with sitting on the back burner multiple times. Sophomore year, I sunk into a major depression and Ben had to give me a reality check.

Junior year, I got involved with a lot of extracurricular activities to keep me busy. I couldn't sit around and wait for him to be done studying. I had to create a way to occupy myself. I dug deeper into my classes. I studied more, I went out with friends more, I made time for myself. I cooked, I cleaned, I exercised, I read. And then FINALLY, when date night would roll around, Ben would not only be excited to spend time with me - he was proud of me. I had become Taylor - the individual. Not just Taylor - Ben's girlfriend. He helped me become the woman I am today.

Ben also has a huge heart. (I will gush about him as much as I want, dammit.)

He served in Ecuador over Spring Break both our Junior and Senior year. Now, if you read my first post you would know that I suffer from anxiety. The times that Ben was gone I could only pray for his safety. That's it. What more is there to do? My job was to be a supportive girlfriend. If I couldn't do that, I had no right to date him. I had to learn to let him be himself. In choosing to be selfless, I was appreciated more by him. I was loved more, and in return, I loved myself.

Ben asked if we could have date night this week. He'll be done with his first huge practical and can take a night off from studying. I'm learning again how good it feels to be wanted after a few days of feeling like you're in the way. And this is only the beginning :)

-Taylor

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